Love, Loved, Questions

Do you remember when
I was in hatred of loving
More so you, simply
Because I was scared?

And times have passed
To points where I
Just couldn't say the same
I'm stuck between 50 and unsure

And for you
I know what it's like
To love and be gone
As if you were a living mess

It's hard to say
On how I should feel
But when it comes to letting loose
Then I will never know